Assassin's Creed II

UBISOFT's Assassin's Creed series is kinda like an RPG, but with ye-olde prostitutes.

The series features a man who is kidnapped for his DNA. A nefarious group is searching through time for something. The only way to do this is to tap into microbial memories buried in the DNA of the descendants of certain people. The first game sent this man back into his ancestral memories to a time during The Crusades.

Assassins Creed II takes place in the memories of another ancestor. This one in Renaissance Italy. Ezio Auditore is handsome (which is great if you're playing for hours!) and athletic. And he is not only willing to spill blood. He is eager. For vengeance!!!

The traditional RPG's I'm used to have things like conversations with the villagers and searching the grounds for treasure.

Assassins Creed II
also has these things, but is much more adult in scope. There is A LOT of blood. There are whores! The HERO gets it on a few times!!! (It fades to black, but you know what's going on, right?!)

I'm finding it a lot of fun. As much as I dislike violence, it's kinda neat playing with historical characters. Ezio Auditore is fun. I had a few LOL moments.

The voice acting has been fun, too. I like how they break into Italian. Of course, since I don't speak it, it's hard to understand. I have a complaint about the subtitles. They are quite small and hard to read for me. I'm playing my PS3 on a regular tv with no HD inputs and the text is tiiiiny.

What's to Like?

1. Fun Voice Acting
   I swear that I heard the original voice actor who played Leonardo from the TMNT cartoon. Turns out, it was Cam Clarke. Sanity confirmed! (Also -- woh, he still sounds the same.)
2. Attractive main character!
   I know I can't resist a handsome stranger in a hoodie. Especially a Renaissance hoodie! Especially in a Renaissance hoodie that can be DYED different colors!
3. ASSASSINATIONS!
4. Hookers with hearts of gold!
   They're here to help you out. For money. Oh, and you can also have thieves and mercenariness at your beck-and-call. Not just the beck-and-call-girls. (Hi, Pretty Woman!)
5. Vengeance!
   There's a lot of blood. And it spurts. If you like that sort of thing.
6. Intrigue!
   There's a lot of backstabbing. Both literal and figurative.
7. Collecting things!
   Renaissance art. Weapons. Feathers. I don't judge.
8. Home improvement!
   Like Under the Tuscan Sun without the romantic chick-flick vibe.
9. Rental Property earnings!
   Who needs Simcity?
10. The views!
    Woh, the cityscapes were really great. Even if I felt kinda sick when Ezio was climbing up the walls. "Kinda" as in my stomach lurched a few times. I'm scared of heights and even videogame heights apparently can get to me.

What's Kinda Off?

1. Surprise ASSASSINATIONS!
   By accidentally pushing the wrong button, you could have innocent blood on your hands. I have to say, I did this a few times. :(
2. "Courtesans" all have the same hair do. Why? Only the Madame can get like a fancy renaissance hair cover or something?
   They are also really regular prostitutes since they seem to be on the street all the time.
3. Those ANNOYING lute players.
   I kept stealing their money even though it made me more notorious. I was tempted to ASSASSINATE. I held back. Usually.
4. How clothing acts = occasional up-skirts/robes.
   Cloth graphics took me aback because as people fell/died, their robes flipped up in the same shape as it was when they were standing.
5. Learning all the fighting moves
   Okay, this is just because I'm used to turn-based RPG's. I got a little overwhelmed. But I got used to it and now I can ASSASSINATE!!! (But see #1 for my other problem.)
6. Hard to read subtitles.
   I don't have a huge TV and I'm not using HD on my PS3 right now. This font is HARD to read.

Overall
I really enjoyed playing this game. It's super fun and has HISTORY!

I also happen to like making money and buying stuff, though hopefully there will be more things to buy. It's nice since Ezio has a way of making money aside from the looting treasure and assassinating for profit.

The complex stories (Present, Past, and a interwoven puzzle) have been really entertaining. I heard that an Assassin's Creed III is in the works. Since there's a conspiracy thing going on in the Present section, I'm sure it will be all sorts of exciting. I cannot wait to get my assassination hoodie ready.